I need to talk. I’m upset…extremely upset. A friend of mine has just been over and inadvertently said something that triggered me not only into my own abuse but also into something else in my life that is equally painful. It is very, very personal to me but I have had to change details for fear of my blog being found out by the people involved. I am shaking and in tears as I write this.

A very close, male relative was found out, in that he had been sexually abusing and raping a young and even closer, female relative of mine over a period of several years. This was absolutely and totally devastating at the time I found out and remains to be so several years later. I will never get over it in my lifetime. I have had to learn to accept it as fact but the pain is still just as intense even today and especially right now.

He wasn’t prosecuted because my female relative was too afraid of the repercussions of doing so. I feel so terribly guilty for not knowing, not seeing this was going on, for not recognizing the signs despite having been through so much abuse myself.

Nobody else in the family knows about this so  I have no-one to turn to for support. I am desperate. I want to take a load of pills to block both this painful abuse and my own equally painful abuse out. I am hurting so much. Please, someone, reply to this…

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