POTHOLES AND JELLY BEANS

Now I’ve got my new electric wheelchair (long-awaited and much appreciated….Thanks, Mum x), I’ve got my independence back after so many years! Although I still need care three times a day to eat, shower, dress etc, I can now get out by myself…freedom! Look out world, here I come!! 

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My first trip out was to the local shops, mostly the Co-Op store. I got there without running anyone over and without getting a speeding ticket! Mind you, I do have an ‘L Plate’ tied to the back of my chair….genuinely…and I need it! I very naughtily, rewarded myself with a box of McVities Jaffa Cakes knowing full well that i would scoff them all…yes, all twelve in one sitting! What a piggy!!

I really must stop referring to it as ‘my electric chair’ as that conjures up awful images of the prisoner’s demise. (I don’t wish to offend anyone in the USA or wherever this practice is carried out). I’m supposed to use the term ‘my powerchair’ but somehow that just seems far too pretentious and grandiose for a little bod like me! So, I must remember to say ‘my electric wheelchair’ which is a bit of a mouthful.

Anyway, back to my travels… I’ve been to church in it which was a bit of a disaster as the person behind me couldn’t see through my headrest so I got a friend to remove it as it is superfluous to me anyway as I’m such a shortass! That seemed to be more acceptable amongst the pews. i was going to stay for coffee but there were so many children running out in front of me, that I chose to leave early as opposed to being responsible for runing little toes over! The journey home was fairly uneventful until I had to go down a lane that was just full of potholes! I thought my wheelchair was going to topple over because the ground was so uneven that I got shaken up like a jar of jelly beans.

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Will I do it again? Yes…I’ve got to get used to it if I want my freedom (and I do so love it really). So, it’s off to church again on Sunday to see how many people I can bump into…I get five points for a policeman, ten points for a traffic warden, twenty points for a vicar and fifty points for a nun!

 

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