small cupboard
I will show you
fragments of me
if you are kind
and have patience
to listen
and trust.

I will open cupboard doors
that have been
closed many years
and bring out
pieces of me
people and truths
hidden over
my lifetime.

Clumps were grabbed
and thrown to the ground
but i gathered them up
and tucked them away
in my mind
in my heart,
secreted carefully away.

These pieces are me.
If you see them
as superfluous,
say they are unimportant,
are of no value
and without meaning
i will gradually
hide them away
once more.

I will fold them
in tissue paper
as if they were jewels
and place them
back into the cupboard
never to be seen again,





2 thoughts on “FRAGMENTS OF ME

  1. Trust is one of the hardest issues I think victims of abuse face. Broken and battered in spirit, body and soul, so often, we carry the scars of a lifetime. But the important thing to remember is this – scars fade with time – and that is as it should be. Sometimes holding on to them and enshrining them with more power than they deserve makes us stop short of learning to let go. By all means Ellie, honor yourself by remembering your scars and clumps – but don’t give them more power than they deserve. I think the same principle applies to trusting others. Honor the scars but recognize that they don’t have to be the definitive “ending” of who you are. You are so much more than what you have lived – this is but one facet of you. Guard what needs to be protected and try to learn to sense who people will react to any “gifts” you choose to share. This will help you be strong – knowing that you are more than the “issues” – and that you don’t need anyone’s acknowledgement or approval. A hard lesson to learn and live – but Ellie is Ellie – beautiful and wonderful and for those who can’t see beyond labels and judgements, then truly, it is their loss – not yours to own.

  2. Patricia, your words fall like golden raindrops into my mind, into my ears. I understand the truth as you tell it to me and for that I am so very appreciative. My scars are both emotional and physical, the latter being obvious to the naked eye. But I am not ashamed of them…they are my ‘battle scars’ which show that I was able to survive my traumas and no, that doesn’t make life a bed of roses as you know, but it shows that I am still living a life.I know life is worth living despite everything although I have days, sometimes longer, when life is totally shit but I guess that goes for every person. I understand what you have said about facets. We are multi-faceted, all of us and each of them differs. Thank you for referring to my words and feelings as ‘gifts’ – that means a lot to me.Sending you love and peace xxx

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