Tonight, my thoughts are as black as the midnight sky
without so much as a twinkling of light from the stars up above.
‘I know not why’, as Shakespeare wrote in The Merchant of Venice,
other than the fact that it is as it is and it seems to have settled
upon my shoulders, the weight of which is pulling me down further
into the abyss of my currently pre-occupied mind.
I have no desire to be as a snake crawling through grass
but more a bird, a Jay with its colours, on the wing, in full flight
Oh, to be a bird and not a snake!
Oh, to soar in the rays of the midday sun.
Yet no, a dull haze comes upon my head and shoulders
And a darkness descends where there was once light
and the gloom travels through my soul.
I say that I protest! It should not be this way!
I shrug to shake off the dim veil descending upon my crown
I push back the clouds and let the sun shine down on me
I am resolute; no longer hesitant and cautious
My wrath, inside, screams to be released into the heavens
rather than carved into my body: Scar upon scar, no more.
I have come too far on my journey to be beaten down again
I have fought a long and hard battle to get here,
where I am entitled to be; to live; to survive.
Even to feel the gentle caress of happiness upon my skin
is a welcome change from the harsh touch of misery.
I will do this; determination set fast; I will win!