I’m aware that I haven’t written this blog for nearly three months, so it may seem strange to see me back albeit briefly. For those of you who have missed me/or remember me, my last post may have lead you to ask “what happened next…?” 

In my opinion, some judges can be downright insensitive idiots. My son, *Tom’s court case to decide on final custody of his little ones, *Lily, aged nearly three, and *Josh, now ten months took place two weeks ago. Bear in mind, Tom has always been the main caregiver for both of his young offspring; the one who gets them up in the morning, gets them bathed and gives them breakfast, then takes Lily to nursery once a week. He works from home in between caring for Josh, and Lily when she returns from the nursery. In the evening, he cooks dinner for everyone, gets the children ready and into bed at night.

The judge, in his infinite wisdom, decided to give custody to *Kate, their so-called mother along with her warring aunt, *PL and uncle *A! Access to the children was awarded to Tom for one weekend every two weeks, and one day in the week in between. That is just so, so wrong!! Tom is obviously devastated as are my family who have supported him all this time. Since then we have been reeling from the shock of what the judge in his infinite wisdom, decided would be best for the children. Where the hell is the justice in that?!

It was Tom’s turn to care for his two little ones last Saturday. I phoned to say hello to Tom and to Lily (Josh obviously being too small to have a conversation with although he did manage a few gurgles when I spoke to him). Lily wanted to talk to me. She is very bright for her age and managed to tell me about a few things they had done that day. She then added, “I don’t want to go back to mummy’s house. I want to stay at daddy’s house”, in her totally unprompted, three-year-old voice. Tom had to persuade her that she was going to have a lovely time at her mum’s (living with their aunt and uncle) and that she could play with her toys and the dog there. However, this was of no consolation and she just cried even more. It was heartbreaking to hear her and know that Tom was powerless to do anything. Tom said that he needed to go now and I could hear his voice cracking up although he held it together for the sake of the children. I just wanted to burst into tears but had to remain strong for my son. We said goodbye with Lily crying in the background. It was awful and so wrong.

What is it with the justice system in this country? Why are they given total power to permanently damage and screw up a child’s life? In what century is the judge living that he comes out with something as outdated as “fathers should be the bread-winner and mothers should stay at home and raise their children?”. As it happens, in this case, no consideration was taken into account that Kate hires a Nanny three days a week to care for Lily and Josh and that Lily is at Nursery one day a week. Add on to that the time the children are left with the aunt and uncle. So, where exactly in that equation is the mother caring for her children?? With no right to appeal as this was the second and final hearing, where is the justice in that. That’s not far off child abuse in my book! JUSTICE STINKS!

6 thoughts on “JUSTICE STINKS!

  1. Some things just never never make any sense …. none ….. and all we can do as adults – and for the parents and relations – is “behave” and do whatever we can to “keep the sanity and peace” for the children.

    It can never be fair or right – and yes, it is the children who pay the price – until such time as either something “new” comes up – requiring more layers, hearings and trials – and a change or modification in custody arrangements.

    Thinking of you and your family during this very difficult and trying time – and sending you as much light and prayers as I can.

    1. Bless you, Pat, I’ve only today, just logged back into this blog and seen your comment. Thanks so much for paying me a visit here again. My son has another hearing next week to try and decide on Christmas arrangements which, of course, can be the most difficult time of the year at the best of times. I am so very grateful, and so appreciative of your love and support.
      I may update this blog and pick up with some of the flip sides​ of Blame It On The Donkey. Life isn’t always a bowl of cherries as I know you’ll understand. Hugs, Ellie xxx

      1. You have that right – sometimes it’s the pits …. but maybe if we stewed the cherries in brandy 😉

        I hope it goes well for your son – you’re right – holidays – difficult without added tensions and stresses like these.

        I hope you’re taking as good of yourself as you can.

        thinking of you and sending you lots of light, love, hugs and prayers Ellie

  2. I’m sorry to hear about this, but I’ve read that in many countries, judges almost routinely award custody to the mother. I can’t help thinking this is not always a very wise move. Of course they must be very much in the minority, but awful mothers do exist and there must surely be times — as it seems in the case of your son — where the father is clearly the better parent.

    1. Thanks so much for your support. As I write, my little grandchildren are at constant risk of emotional abuse and yet the powers that be will do nothing about it. It makes me want to scream. Instead, I cry but continue to stand by and support my son. Thanks for reading, Ellie x

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