CHITTY CHITTY CHARLIE!

happy woman in wheelchair

My good friend and fellow blogger, Bun, mentioned that I hadn’t been paying much attention to Charlie recently and wondered if he was ok. Charlie, for those of you who have not yet been introduced, is my electric-powered wheelchair and best friend. I thought I’d let you into the as yet undisclosed fact that I have been beavering away for weeks, secretly bringing Charlie into the 21st century.

The basic model I had in mind will have wing mirrors, kerb-crawling wheels, and a twin-exhaust, turbocharged engine. He needs a few extra parts added too before he is anywhere near complete so I’m going to build in reversing lights and beeps to warn those pedestrians who I appreciate, don’t have eyes in the back of their heads and cannot tell when I’m about to back out unless I holler, “Oy … out the way … wheelchair reversing … warning”, which is a bit long-winded and usually too late when the individual in question’s toes have already been flattened.

stiar climbing wheelchair in bubble

Then, there are the all-essential indicators, (front and rear), which will flash left and right indicating whether I’m about to grab that last loaf of Hovis in the reduced section in Tesco’s (left), or whether I’m going for the special offer on Heinz Spaghetti Hoops in aisle ten, (on my right). Oh! Did I forget to mention the speedometer; essential, of course, when one is traveling at turbo-speed with my go-faster stripes on the side, up the M8 motorway to Glasgow. Obviously, the weather is a little inclement up there and, therefore, an enclosed shatterproof glass bubble complete with wipers will need to be included.

A buggy board would be handy for the children; a slight improvement on the first design which incorporated a pair of roller skates and a piece of string tied to the back. Also, please do give me an air horn to warn the more able citizens of my town that I am at great risk of running them over if they don’t leap out of my way on the cycle path. This will, in future, be marked with a cycle and a wheelchair icon, indicating that yes, I do indeed have wheels instead of legs, therefore I am entitled to travel in the cycle lane.

Naturally, Charlie will be solar powered thereby eliminating any need for electricity, or the exorbitantly priced fuel they charge these days at the gas/petrol stations. There are a couple of improvements left that could be made to make Charlie the real star of the show and a class A1 model. He needs to be able to travel over water so that he can keep up with the twin-engine boats that shoot across the sea when on holiday, (or at least, withstand a sudden rainstorm at Brighton in mid-summer). I thought perhaps a hovercraft skirt would look rather fetching (albeit a little feminine for Charlie).

Finally, I’ve just got to be able to trust my six-wheeled friend to get me all from England to Australia to visit my sister on Christmas Day. I thought some wings, carefully fashioned from  flexible fibreglass and in the model of the late Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (pictured below), would just add that finishing touch.

Voilà!

chitty bang bang lego prototype

 

 

9 thoughts on “CHITTY CHITTY CHARLIE!

    1. Thanks. I thought my sense of humour had gone on vacation for a while back there, but the mischief in me took over yesterday. I never know what’s coming next with me, Carol anne. I’m such a mixed bag as they say.
      I’ll see whether Charlie has got a long lost cousin that resembles him and loan him out for periods of time – free of charge, of course, apart from basic running costs! xxx 🙂

  1. Yay! I’m glad Charlie has made a welcome return to the blog. I was beginning to worry about him. Please apologize to him for my missing the post on the day it appeared. I’ve been snowed under at the moment, even working on weekends, so I’m massively behind on my reading.

    I’m very impressed with the upgrades, although I’m not sure you should do away with the string and roller skates quite yet. I can imagine many a child really enjoying those. I do wholeheartedly agree with the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang wings, though. Do they come complete with a Dick Van Dyke fake Cockney accent? (They might not, because I think by that time he’d given up trying to sound English.)

    1. Yes, Charlie made a comeback, especially in honour of your mention of him – I guess I had been neglecting his need for a pat on the back (poor thing), to say nothing of a long-overdue overhaul and update in appearance. He thinks he’s the bee’s knees now (whatever bee’s knees look like … do bees have knees?) I hadn’t thought of adding the optional loud-hailer, singing Chitty Chitty Bang Bang in a Dick Van Dyke voice – good thinking, Bun.

      Don’t worry about missing Charlie’s first come-back appearance. I know you mentioned how extra busy you are with work at the moment. I’m glad you’re still finding the opportunity to write occasionally – we’d all get Bun withdrawal symptoms! Ellie x 🙂

      1. The Dick Van Dyke voice through a loud-hailer? Genius! It’s hard to imagine what you could possibly do to improve Charlie any further except possible add a doughnut dispenser somewhere. 🙂

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