TEA AND CAKE

Image result for tea and cake

Today is Mum’s birthday … or, perhaps, I should say, ‘it was Mum’s birthday’. As most of you know, I lost my dear Mum a year ago. It’s been hard; very hard at times. I’ve been trying to heal from my pain, but grief is no respecter of time. Some people get over it in a couple of years, some less, but many more never.

I wasn’t sure what to do today. I wanted to do something special in honour of Mum’s birthday. I finally decided to go to a favourite café of mine to have tea and cake because that’s what she would have been doing at teatime today. It’s a quaint place with lace tablecloths under glass tops, sepia photographs on the walls, brass kettles on old-fashioned cake stands and waitress service as opposed to the usual queue up and help yourself.

I asked for a pot of tea, as opposed to a mug or cup as Mum always, always drank her favourite ‘tipple’ poured from the pot. I’m a great coffee drinker whenever I get the opportunity. It wakes me and my tastebuds up and makes me feel almost human, especially in the mornings. I never usually drink tea –  But, Mum always drank it, but never coffee. Actually, tea’s not bad – quite refreshing really. I chose a piece of carrot cake, one of my favourites, and Mum’s too, and she would have liked this one as it was homemade. She much preferred ‘the real thing’ as opposed to shop-bought ones.

I’d bought a birthday card, strange though it may seem. Perhaps, to buy a card for someone who is no longer here, in body at least, could be seen as rather odd. I feel Mum is here with me in spirit though and especially today. I sat in the café for an hour, writing my words as if I were talking to her. I can’t send it, of course, but I shall keep it with the rest of the items I have that I was able to keep after she passed away. I thought she would approve of me sitting there, having tea and cake and I told her I loved her and missed her so much. I said that I wish she were here with me. And I did.

As I write this in the evening, I am missing that phone call to say, ‘Happy Birthday, Mum’. I realise that she’s not coming back, and they’ll be no more birthdays or Christmases. In fact, they’ll be no more days at all with my Mum, at least not in this life as I know it, but maybe in the next. I hope so.

Happy Birthday, Mum x

9 thoughts on “TEA AND CAKE

  1. ellie this brought tears to my eyes. what a beautiful thing you did. and your not weird at all for buying a card. if it helped you to heal then i say do it. love and hugs carol anne xoxox

    1. Aww … Carol anne – thank you for your kind words. It did definitely help on a very difficult day. I’m glad I did that now. Thanks for your encouragement. Sorry, it’s taking me ages to catch up some of your posts (and everybody else’s too). I will get there soon. Love and hugs for you too, Ellie xxxx

    1. Thank you so much, Ann. I don’t know if I’ll ever come to terms with my Mum passing away, but I am beginning to realise and feel that there is still a part of her with me. Sorry, I’ve got so behind on commenting on your posts (and those of everyone else too). I often read posts and mostly like what I read, but commenting is another ball-game for me altogether. I really must find the time to write a post on how commenting on other people’s post feels as a person with low self-esteem. A strange concept, but it is difficult for me. Perhaps, I will be able to explain soon.

      1. Please don’t worry about it. The comment section is there for those who want to comment, and are comfortable doing so. I never mind if someone doesn’t comment. I have a good friend who faithfully reads every post I write, but is never going to be comfortable leaving a comment on an internet site. And that’s just fine with me!

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