CATCHING UP

pexels woman at desk with laptop, diary etc for blog

(Photo by rawpixel.com from Pexels)

Just a brief appearance! I haven’t had a chance to post anything for about five weeks – far too long. I’ve been away on holiday, not once, but twice! I’ll write about my adventures in my next post. Since I’ve been back and before I’ve even had an opportunity to unpack my bags, life has been completely flat-out.

All this activity has meant I’m way, way behind on reading my fellow blogger’s posts. When I looked through my email this evening, I could see I’d missed about twenty-two posts from my friends! I will try my best to catch up on as many of these as I can, so please bear with me and accept my apologies.

Thank you, my friends, for your patience – and especially …

https://deepasthoughts.wordpress.com

https://mickcanning.co

https://coherentwithcoffee.com

https://muddlingthroughmymiddleage.com

https://asmuchcake.com

https://gcdiaries.wordpress.com

https://lifeisonewodehousestory.wordpress.com/

I know I will enjoy reading all of your posts as soon as I possibly can.

 

 

CONFUSED OR JUST CONFUSED?

confusion highway

God … I am so confusing at times. And perhaps that statement is confusing in itself. Is this my exasperation speaking or is it my faith?

I am aware that I have written about two strongly opposing sets of feelings or opinions within two blog posts and only two weeks apart – one spoken of in ‘A Stronger Woman (I Will Rise)’, and later in ‘Forgiveness (A Different Tack)’ and this may cause you confusion and irritation. If you find it difficult, stop and imagine how difficult it is for me as the thinker of these thoughts.

I’ve mentioned previously, I have a tendency towards impulsivity, caused mainly by my BPD although I don’t entirely blame my mental health status. As my son so rightly put it, “we’re all responsible for our own actions”, whether they be wise or foolish, and mine, more often than not, when made in haste are the latter. I have a penchant for opening my big mouth, wide and then sticking my size four foot right in it.

I wrote that first post when I was extremely enraged, almost to the point of being murderous. I don’t regret anything I said: Nor do I regret anything about my second post. In fact, it did at least, give me some peace in thinking about handing it over to God.

However, I often write, late at night; publish it and then wake up in the morning thinking, “perhaps, I should have slept on that overnight”. The same thing applies when I am trawling through the Amazon website before I go to bed – (this is asking for trouble as I usually hit the ‘Buy with one-click’ button as readily as I hit the ‘Publish’ button). Not always a good idea. At least with Amazon, if I order yet another CD when my CD player no longer functions (and I’ve yet to grasp the concept of MP3 players, i-Pods etc with or without docking stations), I can send it back to Amazon whereas it’s very difficult to suck back in a post that I’ve launched into the WordPress ether.

I realise that adding this extra post may cause even more confusion and perhaps I shouldn’t have started this conversation in the first place. Oh, God … I am so confusing at times. But, am I speaking to God and expressing my concern about my behaviour or, or am I just at my wit’s end and crying out to the world in my vexation? Or, am I just whittling on about something of absolutely no interest to anyone other than myself and do I now dare press the Publish button?

On the other hand, there is that  new CD of my favourite band that I’ve been wanting, reduced from $18.99 to only $9.99 on Amazon – and it’s free delivery….

THE RIPPLE EFFECT

ripple effect

I don’t know how one twisted woman can be responsible for so much emotional damage to a family. This woman is at the centre of this pernicious ripple effect. Tides of toxic emotion are flowing outwards in ever-increasing circles reaching as far as myself, my eighty-year-old mother and many relatives who are caught up in the middle of this turmoil.

[Since my last post, (Justice Stinks), the situation concerning my son and my grandchildren has got progressively worse. There is to be another important court hearing this week because my daughter-in-law, *Kate and her family are being totally bloody-minded, making everything as difficult as possible for my son, *Tom. Also, they are poisoning a little girl’s mind by telling her lies about her daddy and will doubt start to coach my one-year-old grandchild before very long. Going back to court is costing *Tom another $2,500 in legal fees (taking the total up to $25,000), not that you can put a price on a child’s head.

In the meantime, my daughter, *Clare, has become involved as she is supporting my son. As a result of this, my daughter-in-law’s family are making life hell for *Clare and her two young children too. At the bottom of all this trouble is *PL, (Kate’s aunt) who is the linchpin of this nasty situation. She was the one who, (if you read my blog post ‘Abduction’), is the cause of all the trouble].

How does one sick mind impact on so many people and have the potential to harm the emotional well-being of four children and numerous adults? It’s beyond my comprehension why someone in their right mind would go out of their way to wreak such damage. But then I have to ask myself whether, in fact, she is in her ‘right mind’. Should I (in this case) have more compassion under these circumstances?